Poor Kitty

I'm back from Kelantan and currently in Bangi, upstairs in the hall, lying on my stomach, in front of my notebook, with lecture notes all around me, hoping to concentrate more on them after I finish writing this entry. So anyway, I find myself falling to something that happened when I got back home. The next morning when I woke up, I went downstairs and unlocked the house door and grill to step outside to get some morning fresh air when suddenly a cute kitten began to purr and meow at me.  I looked at it, its coat spotted with a mixture of soft brown colors blended in white, so small, innocent, and helplessly adorable! But there was something wrong with its eyes. It's glossy and round. I began to wonder if the poor kitty is blind.

Sorry for not rotating this! idk how :-/

So I tried to test the kitten by playing with a leaf, making it lively and moving it as fast as possible to see if the kitten can follow its motion and attack it. Sadly, the kitty didn't manage to attack it, she just stared in blankly in one spot and she continued to meow at me as if the leaf was not there at all. Innocent as she looks, I knew my mother won't let us keep it as nobody will take proper care of her, like taking up the responsibility of cleaning up her feces and changing the cage, bathing her and buy her food. When we had Bishu, I was in charge of doing all those "pet-chores". My other sisters and brothers won't do it properly if I handed the job over to them.

I find it surprising that everytime I'm home, there will always be some new random cat/kitten in front of my door, as if waiting for me to come and pick it up and make it as my pet. My Mom would then tell me, "I think the cat can sniff your presence la.. They know Nasha's at home now to bring them some food!" I'll be thinking to myself, "Yea,maybe she's right!" But whatever it is, I know that when I don't get the approval from my Mom for keeping a cat in the house, then there will be NO CATS ALLOWED in the house. Which is sad for me as a cat lover.

My Mom got back from Indonesia two days ago, and when she found out about the kitten, she hesitated and yes, she asked me to put away the kitten far away from our house. We drove up to one of the streets in front of my housing area and left it there, all alone. I went back in the car and glanced at the kitten from the back window until my Mom took a turn on the left and that was it. She was finally gone and I pray that somebody will take pity on her and keep her well..

Dreaming of Bishu

Exactly right after I woke up this morning I manage to recall the dream I had the night before of my cat, Bishu. It's the weirdest dream ever because I saw her right outside my hostel, by the orchids and the big tree here in Nurani. It was surreal to see her actually coming back to life with her blue eyes staring at me, her meow's and her cute small nose!!

In that dream, SURPRISINGLY I was looking after a black hen (or something similar to that shade of color). Somehow I let it in my room, to sit around and clucking to me for food or just for a pat. The dream went to fast-forward until the hen actually lay eggs on my blanket! And her chicks were so cute and adorable and small. They chirped happily around their mom and I saw myself smiling at them. Haha. It's funny just to think of that happening to me in real life. Anyway, I took the whole family of newborn chicks outside my hostel and it was then that I saw Bishu coming at me. She followed me along with the hen and chicks, she meow-ed and the strange thing was that I just stared at her and didn't do anything. I'd always pat her or stroke her smooth fur but in the dream I didn't do a thing. I feel kinda bad right now, knowing that it was just a dream, but yeah, I feel that I should've done something. And yes, she looked like she was pregnant and her stomach looked a bit...sagged?

The dream was cut short when I woke up to the sounds of my roommate waking up for our Immunology class at 8am. It ended with me worrying over Bishu's delivery for her kittens. I was still worried when I was awake, even when I was in the shower. I have no idea what the message behind this dream is telling me, but somehow I feel good about it, realizing that I FINALLY had a dream of her. Just to see her walking and meow-ing in my dream left me in good spirits this morning. Which is why I'm blogging about it :-)

Life's a Struggle

Well, for me perhaps. Not always. But sometimes.

There will be certain days in my life that I find it hard to pass by, struggling myself to get rid it, and wish to end all of it with just a snap of the finger, hoping that it won't bother me anymore. But that won't do the trick of solving..anything! You have to face it by yourself, and deal with it on your own. It's better if someone's there to help you get out of it. As for me, I'm always thinking that I can be my own friend, like, I don't need anyone else to be a part of my life, I don't feel like I need their help or suggestion in whatever it is that I'm doing. I thought it would be easier for me to live on my own, keeping problems to myself, and searching ways to solve it properly. But I was wrong. TOTALLY wrong. You definitely need someone to be there with you in whatever situation that you're in. You definitely need someone to hold your hand and guide you through each step that you make each and everyday. And I'm glad to have found mine. Even though we just became friends a year ago, and I have my own besties back at home, I've treated you like my very own sister, companion and one awesomely true friend. I won't know if I'm able to survive Kelantan without you. Big thanks to you, my dear friend!

H.E.L.P.

 Hectic and Exhaustion Leads to Pressure!(LOL. I just randomly made that up)

Recently I've been feeling so low spirited as to what was happening around me. I was busy handling our Dietetics Interaction Day last weekend, where I had to wake up at 7.30am, washed my face, and head straight to the Aerobics Hall to prepare the morning activities. Of course, I had fun watching the participants get wet, laughed and cheer together with them. I felt bonded with all my coursemates and that had actually made my day wonderful.

 But during that afternoon, I had to spend half of the time in the kitchen to prepare the food for the evening session. It was pure CHAOS. My friends and I had to chase time so that our cooking would end right before 7pm. I instantly felt the pressure coming at me and I thought I just could not handle it. The kitchen was filled with all sorts of smell coming from the 12 pieces of chicken, the pungent smell of onions and garlic. I got sick when there were flies buzzing around me everywhere. There was water spilled on the kitchen floor which made my stomach flipped backwards. I knew I was going to get sick.

So yes, the foods were all prepared and done by 7pm. We got out of the kitchen, and head straight back to our hostels to get ready for the night session, which STARTS AT 8PM. I was thinking to myself, how on earth am I able to get ready within AN HOUR?

Right after I entered my room, I set my mind as if I'm a contestant in a competition where I had to get ready within an hour. I took my shower for 5 minutes, went and iron my clothes for another 5 minutes, got ready for 10 minutes, and went out of my room within 2 minutes. Now all I had to do was to race myself to the PPSK Cafe within 20 minutes.

As I was briskly walking on my own, suddenly I felt queasy inside.My mouth turned bitter. I couldn't breathe properly. I stopped my pace. Luckily there was a toilet right in front of me. And for the first time ever, I vomited. I know it sounds SUPER strange, crazy and nonsense but that was my very first time vomiting for the last 10 years. Not to say I enjoy vomiting or it makes me feel good, it's just something that I haven't thought of getting myself into when I'm grown up, knowing for a fact that I'm healthy and my health is well taken care of.

But yeah, somehow it just hit me that I'm still human and I could get sick anytime, despite eating and living healthy. I'm trying to improve on that lately. Oh well, that weekend was definitely worth remembering!

I've Been Caffeinated

A few days back I ran out of those instant 3-in-1 drinks, and I had to buy a new one. And since I was too lazy to walk all the way to Mydin to get cheaper ones, I decided to go to Che Din's shop to buy it. For some reason my eyes fell on the Nescafe 3-in-1 Mild and I purchased it with high hopes that this drink will help me stay awake longer at night for any coming tests or finishing up my assignments. Such an obvious reason, no?

For as long as I have been living my life as a university student and being miles away from home, I know for a fact that I never had an addiction to coffee but now......I AM!! There's just something about coffee that makes me on-the-go, like this one time where I ran all the way from my hostel to Che Din's shop just to find out that his shop was closed, and with that I ran again back, all within 10 minutes! If you weren't running it'll probably take you about 20 minutes for the same distance. And this other time where I kinda "jogged" to Mydin at night after Maghrib prayers all by myself. I remembered leaving my room at 7.30PM, and when I got back it was exactly before 8.30PM, which is astounding!(I think)

The energy you get is so much different than any other drink/food and I personally found that amazing. I guess I'm hooked on it because of that energized feeling I get after drinking a cup. I feel like I could do almost anything. Even reading my dull highlighted notes over and over again and washing clothes at midnight, which I've never done before. It now make sense to me that the advertisements about coffee always starts in the morning, where most people needs that EXTRA boost of energy that gets them going off to work. But surprisingly this does not apply to me. I tried having coffee in the morning once and I just felt more tired and sleepy in class. I ditched that and tried to drink it at night. It's works the other way around with me! I feel weird. But I love it :P

3 Things You Don't Know About Me

Since I'm so out of ideas of what I should blog about, I prefer to re-introduce myself a little bit more than what I have mentioned earlier in my first post. It gets interesting to know a person a bit deeper and the little things that matter to him/her might give you a hint or a clue of what this person is all about. There will also be a connection between both individuals that you might think you could relate to him/her. To me, that's how everybody find their own friends (and enemies as well).

To begin with, one thing you should know about me is that I have a habit of cleaning the entire house everytime I'm at home. Whenever there's a long break (or even a short one) I'd grab the vacuum cleaner and start hovering my room first. Eventhough my Mom would always tell me that my younger sister, Alya has already did the cleaning (because she's sleeping in my room when I'm away), I'll turn a deaf ear to her and just clean the room up by myself. I'd always think that she doesn't do the job well as there are still dust everywhere! It annoys me. So then I'll do my parents bedroom, the hall, then I'll move downstairs to do the entire living room. Yes, call me a "Cleaning Freak" but that's just me :)

This next one might be a little disgusting to those who hates insects or bugs, but I really love to hit (or kill) bugs everywhere I am. One particular insect that I'm so obsessed about in squishing their tiny little bodies is mosquitoes. I totally love hitting them, and I'd be really satisfied if I killed ones that has been sucking blood. Then I'll quietly say to them, "Ha! Serve you right for sucking my blood, you evil critter. That's what you get when you mess up with me. "  I'll  just be grinning by then.

Another thing about me that might interest you is that I have no fear of cockroaches. I know some have no fear of them too, but most of the girls that I've met are really afraid of it. I find them harmless and so innocent! I'd chase them whenever I see one, and honestly speaking I like the feeling of chasing it. It just gets to me and I'll be laughing all the way to see the roaches running. I find it so cute!!( I'm so weird, right?)

So those are the 3 things I think makes me a bit "unique" and interesting to know about. I know what I have written here is a little strange, but that defines me of who I am. And I like myself being this way.

Raya Haji

So I just got back from kampung in Rembau, Negeri Sembilan from Raya Haji. This year it was all different. The slaughtering did not take place in my kampung, but it was done in a nearby mosque. It was also different because I brought my friend with me, one of my closest friend during matriculation. Her name is Fasma and she's from Kelantan. She did not go back home as her college only gave 3 days off for this celebration, which obviously is NOT enough for one that has to travel back by bus or train. I decided to take her with me back to kampung to celebrate with us. She hesitated for a moment, all embarrassed and shy, but she got used to it once we've arrived.

After lunch we decided to visit my father's friend who was living near Malacca. He got 3 kids, 2 girls and 1 baby boy and I truly love them! Why? It's because they're so adorable and cute! Plus kids at the age of 3 to 5 years old are so open to strangers and they'll play with anybody unknown to them (which makes it easier for me to play along with) I bonded with them as soon as I got my hands on the toys that they had. For a moment I felt lively with this kids. I felt like I was a child again despite being 20 years old and have a sense of maturity of a young adult. They called me "Kakak" in those little tiny voices and that just made my heart melt so much! They held my hand and drag me to the backyard and asked me to carry them to pick some limau kasturi on the trees. At that exact moment I feel like asking my Mom to have another baby sister or brother. Hehe.

She kept on asking me to tickle her. I find that so strange, but cute too =)

Atikah and her younger sister Atirah

Fasma and me, with a background scenery from my kampung

I realized that being a kid is only once and if you did not embraced your own childhood back then, you might end up being unhappy, and a person who does not know how to deal with children around you. I know this is quite early for me to say this, but when I have a child of my own, I'd give him/her the best of everything and pour all the love I have in my heart to him/her so that one day he/she will grow up happily and have not the slightest regret of having me as his/her parent. I guess that's what most parents are trying nowadays. I love mine just the way they are and I'm proud to be grown up by them.

Something I'm Looking Forward To

Yes, it's that moment of glory and happiness to all of us students here, who have been away from our warm and cozy homes for quite a while. The Mid Semester Break is finally kicking in tomorrow! Parents will be waiting for their kids to come back and pamper them with delicious home cooked meal and take them out on a holiday (mine always do hehe) The thought of home gets to me everytime when I'm hungry, sad, lonely, tired and bored. It is at these precise moments I'd pick up my phone and call up my Mom or Dad to hear them rambling about what has been happening around the house. I could only smile to this, wondering when I'll be joining the fun and chaos my siblings have been doing there.

I can see myself going back on the bus tomorrow night at 10pm, sitting in a single seat, and let the hours pass by listening to music, till I finally arrive at the Kajang Bus Terminal, somewhere around 5.30 am, then waiting for my Mom to pick me up and head straight home. The streets would be empty and I could see my Mom driving as fast as she could, thinking she's the Street Queen of Bangi, where no one can drive pass through her. My arrival would be welcomed by none of my siblings, or even my Dad as they are all still in their beds, dreaming. I'll have nothing to do but to just continue sleeping on the couch, till my Mom wakes me up for prayers.

Oh,talking about this puts me in the mood to just grab my bag, pack up all my things and wait for 3rd November to come, waiting for the clock to strike 10 o'clock and leave Kelantan for one full week! I'm just psyched thinking about it :) I wish all of my creative writer friends (Madam Chai as well *wink*) have a happy and enjoyable holiday back at home, and an early Selamat Hari Raya Haji!

Friends Beyond Expectation

With this recent 5 days break coming to an end, I realized that the friends I made online for the past years are really and truely friends beyond expectation. I spent my break in Kuantan for 2 nights in a friend's house. And this friend is not just any ordinary friend I made from school or a party. She was a friend from cyberspace, and now she's one of my closest and best friend that I love so much.

To start it all off, I made my first online friend from Pahang at the age of fifteen. I remembered the night where I was all by myself, downstairs in the living room, cold and dark , with only the computer screen lighting up straight to my face, and I was chatting away with a stranger from another state, who seemed (and still is) friendly, warm hearted and nice. A stranger he might be, I find him interesting and easy to talk to. His friend suddenly wanted to get to know me, and I somehow knew she can be trusted. That all happened in 2006. Now, almost 5 years later, we're still in contact with each other and have met tonnes of times in "real life". I guess there were two important values to be taken here, to be true of yourself to whoever you're talking to, and be totally honest about it.

I learned a lot from these two people that with truth and honesty, a person can have an everlasting relationship between them. Yes, some might find it hard to believe that the people we meet online can be a lie and a hoax. But when there comes a time the small voice inside your head says that this person is really telling you the truth, you just have to give in and keep the conversation going on until a relationship is born between the two of you. Honesty, to me, however, is a bit risky when it comes to something like this. You might be ashamed of what you might share with the other person, or you might hold back to something you really have the urge to tell. For me, what  I did to those two people was to be myself and develop honesty in that friendship I'm having.

Up to this very moment, I'm really amazed at how technology (Internet, in particular) has changed the way people connect with each other. Just by sharing pictures on Flickr, or even drawings of your favorite Manga character on deviantART, people all across the nation can instantly click with one another and develop a relationship through a common interest. Now I see that even by creating a blog can do so, too. *wink

Retro Rules!

I don't know if it's a weird thing for a girl like me, born in the 90's, that grew up in an all new generation filled with rebellious, ignorant teenagers, founds herself in love with mostly songs from the 80's. I bet none of my friends know who Stevie Wonder, Rod Stewart, and  James Taylor are. As I tell them they're really famous American singers back in the days, they would just give me the shortest response a person could reply when he/her is NOT interested in the topic that you're talking about, a typical "Oh". I'm really shocked and kind of disappointed to know that these famous icons are still not known to some people in my country, as well as others. I understand that kids are most likely to be influenced from their parents interests in music, or anything else like hobbies and the food they would usually go for. As for me, being mixed and having parents that totally dig English songs, I guess I somehow feel lucky because of the exposure I get from them on music that really makes sense in life.

To be quite honest with you, I totally hate songs playing on Lite FM when I was in my teens. I remember I had my Walkman with me in the car one day. I'd turned the volume up so high that whatever song that was on the radio I'd block them out my ears and just concentrate on the Green Day cassette playing on my Walkman. I really don't get why songs from back then, especially ones on love, had such a slow tempo and have cheesy lyrics to it. It just didn't work for me somehow.

All of that changed one day when my dad called me out of my room to watch a documentary tribute to John Lennon's birthday on October 9th. I went down to watch it because I LOVED The Beatles and the fact that I had some curiosity inside me on how he lived and finally died. Throughout the whole program something inside me was changing slowly and it did dramatically when the music video on John Lennon's Imagine came up. I didn't know what it did to me, but right after the show ended I headed straight to my room, opened my diary and started writing on how wonderful John Lennon's ideology of keeping peace and sustaining humanity. Shockingly, that was the night I started tuning to Lite FM, listening to John Denver, Phil Collins, Aretha Franklin and so much more. I realized the lyrics to their song were deep and inspiring to life.

I really have no idea what the future generation would think of John Lennon or any known artist that were once at their top some years back. Honestly if youngsters pick Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj as an inspiration in their lives, they're missing out on something much better than them, icons that sang lovely tuned songs, giving insights on how genuinely life can be and how precious it is to each of us. I can say that John Lennon changed my views on music, who changed yours?

He's gorgeous *drools