Poor Kitty

I'm back from Kelantan and currently in Bangi, upstairs in the hall, lying on my stomach, in front of my notebook, with lecture notes all around me, hoping to concentrate more on them after I finish writing this entry. So anyway, I find myself falling to something that happened when I got back home. The next morning when I woke up, I went downstairs and unlocked the house door and grill to step outside to get some morning fresh air when suddenly a cute kitten began to purr and meow at me.  I looked at it, its coat spotted with a mixture of soft brown colors blended in white, so small, innocent, and helplessly adorable! But there was something wrong with its eyes. It's glossy and round. I began to wonder if the poor kitty is blind.

Sorry for not rotating this! idk how :-/

So I tried to test the kitten by playing with a leaf, making it lively and moving it as fast as possible to see if the kitten can follow its motion and attack it. Sadly, the kitty didn't manage to attack it, she just stared in blankly in one spot and she continued to meow at me as if the leaf was not there at all. Innocent as she looks, I knew my mother won't let us keep it as nobody will take proper care of her, like taking up the responsibility of cleaning up her feces and changing the cage, bathing her and buy her food. When we had Bishu, I was in charge of doing all those "pet-chores". My other sisters and brothers won't do it properly if I handed the job over to them.

I find it surprising that everytime I'm home, there will always be some new random cat/kitten in front of my door, as if waiting for me to come and pick it up and make it as my pet. My Mom would then tell me, "I think the cat can sniff your presence la.. They know Nasha's at home now to bring them some food!" I'll be thinking to myself, "Yea,maybe she's right!" But whatever it is, I know that when I don't get the approval from my Mom for keeping a cat in the house, then there will be NO CATS ALLOWED in the house. Which is sad for me as a cat lover.

My Mom got back from Indonesia two days ago, and when she found out about the kitten, she hesitated and yes, she asked me to put away the kitten far away from our house. We drove up to one of the streets in front of my housing area and left it there, all alone. I went back in the car and glanced at the kitten from the back window until my Mom took a turn on the left and that was it. She was finally gone and I pray that somebody will take pity on her and keep her well..

Dreaming of Bishu

Exactly right after I woke up this morning I manage to recall the dream I had the night before of my cat, Bishu. It's the weirdest dream ever because I saw her right outside my hostel, by the orchids and the big tree here in Nurani. It was surreal to see her actually coming back to life with her blue eyes staring at me, her meow's and her cute small nose!!

In that dream, SURPRISINGLY I was looking after a black hen (or something similar to that shade of color). Somehow I let it in my room, to sit around and clucking to me for food or just for a pat. The dream went to fast-forward until the hen actually lay eggs on my blanket! And her chicks were so cute and adorable and small. They chirped happily around their mom and I saw myself smiling at them. Haha. It's funny just to think of that happening to me in real life. Anyway, I took the whole family of newborn chicks outside my hostel and it was then that I saw Bishu coming at me. She followed me along with the hen and chicks, she meow-ed and the strange thing was that I just stared at her and didn't do anything. I'd always pat her or stroke her smooth fur but in the dream I didn't do a thing. I feel kinda bad right now, knowing that it was just a dream, but yeah, I feel that I should've done something. And yes, she looked like she was pregnant and her stomach looked a bit...sagged?

The dream was cut short when I woke up to the sounds of my roommate waking up for our Immunology class at 8am. It ended with me worrying over Bishu's delivery for her kittens. I was still worried when I was awake, even when I was in the shower. I have no idea what the message behind this dream is telling me, but somehow I feel good about it, realizing that I FINALLY had a dream of her. Just to see her walking and meow-ing in my dream left me in good spirits this morning. Which is why I'm blogging about it :-)

Life's a Struggle

Well, for me perhaps. Not always. But sometimes.

There will be certain days in my life that I find it hard to pass by, struggling myself to get rid it, and wish to end all of it with just a snap of the finger, hoping that it won't bother me anymore. But that won't do the trick of solving..anything! You have to face it by yourself, and deal with it on your own. It's better if someone's there to help you get out of it. As for me, I'm always thinking that I can be my own friend, like, I don't need anyone else to be a part of my life, I don't feel like I need their help or suggestion in whatever it is that I'm doing. I thought it would be easier for me to live on my own, keeping problems to myself, and searching ways to solve it properly. But I was wrong. TOTALLY wrong. You definitely need someone to be there with you in whatever situation that you're in. You definitely need someone to hold your hand and guide you through each step that you make each and everyday. And I'm glad to have found mine. Even though we just became friends a year ago, and I have my own besties back at home, I've treated you like my very own sister, companion and one awesomely true friend. I won't know if I'm able to survive Kelantan without you. Big thanks to you, my dear friend!